030308: I had the best Girl's Day Eve ever! Last night, Hanzo gave me a rose and strawberry mochi ice cream. Then he washed my feet and prayed over me! My husband is so awesome. Today, we got to sleep in and have a nice breakfast together. One thing that is kind of bothering me is my bills. Last month, I couldn't afford to pay my Sallie Mae nor my Bank of America card. So, this month, I have to pay twice as much. I know that if I just wait on the Lord, He will provide. It is getting difficult though, to balance faith with works.
Numbers 32:23But if you will not do so, behold, you have sinned against the Lord; and be sure your sin will find you out.
The descendants of Gad and Reuben didn't want to enter into the promised land, instead, they wanted to stay on the East side of the Jordan River. Moses told them that if they didn't help the other Israelites gain their inheritance by arming up for battle, that God would not allow them to settle on the East side of the Jordan. Allowing the people of Gad and Reuben to stay and sit in the land of Gilead would be discouraging to the other people. So, they agreed that every man would be armed for battle so that they will help their brethren enter into the promised land. Moses told them that if they went back on their word, and sinned, that the sin would be against God and that it would find them out. There would be no way to hide from their sin.
It is so true how sin finds us out. For me, I know that anytime I hide my thoughts or sin in my heart, God knows and He shows me that He knows. The consequences always come. Right now, I am going through the consequences of my past sin of stewarding my finances poorly. I mis-used that Bank of America card on the movie and on satisfying my present desire to finish Suppress. I thought I could pay it back. I thought I could use all this money I didn't really have for my gain and then give it back when I made more money. Now, I've learned that I should not use credit cards at all. I just can't steward it well. The hope in this situation is, that God has taught me the lesson, and my sin has found me out, so now, I just need to hold on to God and ride it out. I suppose it's like if I took a lion's cub, and now mama lion is fighting me for what I did. She will stop soon. I'll leave that desert and never go back there, but for now, I need to endure the claws, the stinging, and the pain. I know that I won't die, because Jesus has died for me. There is only life for me. However, I need to endure the effects of my sinful decision for this season.
Heavenly Father, thank You for Jesus. Jesus, thank You for dying for me so that I may live. Thank You for Your forgiveness and promise of eternal life. Lord, please give me the strength I need to endure this season. I lean and trust in You completely. Please guide me towards making Godly decisions in the future. Show me Your ways. I love You, Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.
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