He has the best life for me

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Matthew 10: 39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Jesus tells this to His disciples. He is basically saying when someone finds his own way and plan in life, he will loose it. But those who lose their lives, their comfortable ways of living, for Jesus’ sake will find true life.

I feel like I’m the latter. I feel like I’ve left my comfortable dreams and goals for the daunting mission of representing Jesus. It is so hard to be a Christian. I have so much pressure on me and there is a lot of expectations from other Christians and non-Christians. I thought I had such a good life, on my way to becoming an actress, dancing and singing for crowds that were pleased by my performance. I thought I was on my way to fortune and fame. But now, I see that nothing I wanted to do will really come to pass. At least not in the way that I desired it to. But God is making a new way for the desires of my heart to be fulfilled. This new way will only bring Him the honor and glory. This is the true meaning of life, to honor and glorify the Creator of all the Universe and Heavens. There is no better audience than He. That is the best life to live, but it is only available to those who ditch their own dreams and seek His will.

Lord, I want to pursue this life that You have for me. There is nothing there for me, romanticizing about my former life. It is barren. There is no fruit in that life. But with You, there is an abundant harvest. Please forgive me, Lord, for complaining. Forgive me for my sins. I love You. Please change my heart. Fill me with Your love and joy. I trust in You. You are all I need. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.