Obedience and God's provision

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Luke 5:5-6
5And Simon answered, "Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets." 6And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.

These were career fishermen. They made their living off of the fish they caught. Fish equaled wealth. A good catch meant there would be something to eat on the table. I imagine the fishermen, tired from a long evening of fruitless fishing. Oh how long they must have waited for fish to swim into their nets. Yet, every time they pulled it onto the boat, the nets were empty. It must have been so depressing to have your hopes rise and fall with every toss and pull of the net. Then Jesus tells them to let down the nets one more time. Maybe they were all packed up for the day. The net must have been folded neatly. Their stomachs growling from a long day of work. Looking at Jesus, Simon basically says, "Look, I respect your teachings, but you gotta understand that we have been fishing all day and there is nothing here to catch." But then Simon says, "however, since you told me to, I'll do it." Maybe Simon just wanted to show respect to Jesus. Maybe the whole time he was lowering the net, he was thinking, "This guy doesn't know this lake like I do." But once they were obedient, they caught so many fish that they almost couldn't handle it.

I feel like Simon. "Lord, I'm telling You, I've been working at this thing all day and there is just no way that I can be fruitful here." But God keeps asking me to lower my net again. I feel this way especially with Embrace. It seems like I put so much hard work into that ministry and the fish are so few that it hardly feels like enough to keep me going. But, God is saying, just lower your net, one more time, I'll provide the fish. Actually, I feel like this in a lot of areas in my life. I feel like this with my ministries (Drama, Vocals, Youth Choir, Pursuit) and my finances. I hardly have enough to pay the bills. I have next to nothing to spend on all the baby showers coming up, or the funerals that are happening. I feel so worthless. I have nothing of worth to offer my friends and family who need my support because I can hardly support myself. I get so angry. I get so frustrated. But if Jesus is telling me to lower my net once more, I just need to be obedient. I don't know how I am going to do that, but I need just need to do it.

Heavenly Father, I pray for You to forgive me for my sins. Lord, I've been so stubborn and easily frustrated. I need You, Lord, to save me. I need You to provide the fish. I know that it is never a result of my own efforts, so Lord, I pray for Your provision. I trust You, Lord. I'm so sorry for thinking I have it all figured out. I love You. I pray all these things in Jesus' name, Amen.