Imitate Christ

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Ecclesiastes 11:10 So, remove grief and anger from your heart and put away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting.

Ecclesiastes 12:14 For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.

Ephesians 5:1 - 2
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
2and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

I heard God saying that I need to remove even the tiniest hint of evil in my heart. Deep inside, I harbor resentment, hate, pain, and anger. Although on the outside, I seem very cheerful and happy, on the inside, way deep in a dark corner, I hold onto these sinful feelings. I hide them away and I've learned to smile. But Ecclesiastes says that life is too short to harbor such feelings and God sees everything that is hidden and will bring justice. I can't fool God with my talent at suppressing my feelings. In Ephesians, Paul says that we must be imitators of God. Just as Christ did exactly what the Father did, then I should, as God's child, also do what He does. God walks in love, all the time. He doesn't just love us sometimes, He loves us unfailingly. I must imitate that love until it drives out all the impurities in my heart.

I have been trying to uncover the darkest mysteries and secrets in my heart to bring them to Jesus for healing. So far, I've discovered that every since I could comprehend my mother's arthritis, I've blamed myself for it. Also, that attitude caused me to be overly and inappropriately apologetic. I have really been struggling with having a joyful heart. I want so badly to be joyful all the time. I see other people and they seem so solid. But I feel like I've been judged harshly lately. I notice that people expect me to be 100% joyful. And since I haven't reached that yet, they seem to be disappointed in me. But then again, I probably see it this way because of my paradigm. Maybe no one is judging me and I'm just placing this burden on myself. The solution to my desire to be filled with God's love is to be an imitator of God, of Christ. I need to apply that old cliche, "What Would Jesus Do?" to my every thought and decision.

Heavenly Father, please forgive me. Lord, please help me! I'm struggling. I want to be just like You! I feel so far from who You are calling me to be. Please prepare me for the challenges ahead. Lord, lead me in Your everlasting way. Help me to be an imitator of Jesus. Purify my heart, Lord. Fill it with Your love. Draw out all the bitterness that I secretly harbor. I trust in You. In Jesus' name, Amen.