Rend my heart

062508
Joel 2: 13 Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

Joel 1 begins with warnings and a prophesy of a desperate time to come. The locusts will swarm and consume everything. The land will be desolate and unfruitful. An army of locusts will invade the land and devour everything. But then Joel calls them to repentance. He tells them to rend their hearts. To rend is to tear or split apart or into pieces violently; to tear one’s garments or hair in anguish or rage; to cause pain or distress to. Joel was telling them that the people shouldn’t be tearing their garments in distress, but rather their hearts. If only their hearts would break at the realization of their wickedness and disobedience, then they would really change their ways. Joel calls the people to return to God, not because He is wrathful, but because He is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, and He relents from sending calamity. So although God is all powerful, He is always willing to take a repentant heart back.

Has my repentance truly resulted in the rending of my heart? Have I ever truly understood just how much I break God’s heart? Today, I realize that the reason why I’m going through this season of feeling bitter, jealous, and indignant is because I haven’t really felt Godly sorrow over my sin. I tend to be a Christian because I’m supposed to be one. I do kind things because I want to be liked, not because I realize the price that my salvation was purchased with. If I can just wrap my head around the wrath that Jesus took on my behalf, then I most surely would live for His glory alone. This is the moment! I am really digging into my heart and soul and letting the magnitude of God’s love impact my life. God doesn’t want me to be bitter; He wants me to love Him with all my heart. My heart is broken right now. Not only is it broken, but I tear it apart. I rip at my heart because I need Him to rebuild my heart. Once the old has been torn down, the new can be built.

Oh Lord, I am so sorry for all the pain and suffering that my sin has caused You. I grieve over my deep, concealed wickedness. Lord, I tear my heart apart today and hand it over to You to be rebuilt! Jesus, You are my Lord! You are my Savior! I ask for Your forgiveness. I praise You for Your everlasting love and grace. May I never cheapen the price it cost You for my salvation. Help me to follow You will all that I am. In the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, Amen.