Who I am

Amos 7: ¹⁴Then Amos answered and said to Amaziah, "I was no prophet, nor a prophet’s son, but I was a herdsman and a dresser of sycamore figs. ¹⁵ But the LORD took me from following the flock, and the LORD said to me, 'Go, prophesy to my people Israel.' ¹⁶ Now therefore hear the word of the LORD.

Titus 2:³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Amos wasn't born a prophet. He wasn't "trained" for it or aspired to it. He was a herdsman and he dressed sycamore figs. The ESV study bible says that only the very poor ate the sycamore figs. So here is Amos, an ordinary, poor man just going the way of his fathers before him and then the Lord calls him to prophesy about God's judgment, Israel's sin, and a call to repentance. Amos knew who he was and he knew what God called him to be. Although the difference between the two lifestyles were extremely different, Amos was obedient. In Titus 2, Paul tells of who women are to be in Christ. This is an image of who I am called to be. I am to be reverent in behavior and a teacher of what is good. Specifically, I am to love my husband and children, be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to my husband. I am not to slander nor be a drunk or alcoholic. In connection with my devotion yesterday, this is a good standard that I can adjust and realign myself to.

I am far from perfect. Like Amos, I wasn't raised to be in full time ministry, nor was I raised to be a stay at home mom. I was raised with just the opposite mindset. Ever since I could remember that I had a goal to work towards, I wanted to be an actress living in high success for myself and surrounded by luxuries and total convenience. I thought that I would attract "the man of my dreams" and just retire early and have some kids that naturally would love me and like me. Totally wack, now that I recall it. But still, isn't it what every little girl wants? To be a highly desired and catered to "princess"? Anywho, now that I am a woman, not a little girl anymore, I see that I am just dust. However, I am valuable, precious, and sought after "dust" because God so loved me that He gave His only Son so that I may have worth and life to its fullest. So, when I look at what my life should look like covered by God's grace, it is plainly written by Paul in Titus 2:3-5. So what can this dust do to bring glory to the only thing that gives her worth? I must "love my husband and children, be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to my husband. I am not to slander nor be a drunk or alcoholic." Is that too much to ask for...meaning, is God asking too much of me? Not at all. Has He given me everything I need to succeed in these areas of living? Truly, yes. I'm going to put these qualities on a checklist that I can look at everyday this week to train myself to check on how I am doing.

Heavenly Father, thank You for giving me worth. Thank You for seeking after me and pouring out Your grace upon me. I love You. Please help me to be transformed into the woman You have called me to be. I want to cling to Your calling. I want to be obedient to You. Show me Your way and may I walk in it forever. I pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Alignment

Amos 6:¹²Do horses run on rocks?
Does one plow there with oxen?
But you have turned justice into poison
and the fruit of righteousness into wormwood—

The teachers of the law and the religious leaders of that time were perverting justice so badly, it was beyond common sense. Amos was warning them of God's judgment upon their injustice. To be righteous during those times was not the liberating kind; instead to be considered righteous to them was draining and rotting to oneself.

I think religious leaders need to heed this warning. It is sometimes so easy for people to get into the routine of doing things that they don't realize that they have wandered so far off the true path. It's like when I don't get my tires aligned regularly; once I have them realigned, then I realize I've been compensating by pulling the wheel to one side while driving. Left unchecked, Christianity can become a rigorous set of rules and people can be walking around not realizing that they are slowly dying and decaying spiritually. So how do I keep from wandering into this irrational spiritual behavior? How do I keep others from drifting into it as well? I need to be intentional about my walk with Jesus and constantly re-aligning my values and beliefs to God's word. God's word is never changing, so I'll always have a true north to set back to. It's easy to get caught in the tide of today's post-modernism, but I need to be one ready to fight against the current because not only is my eternal life at stake, but others as well. May I be pro-active in my spiritual growth and in encouraging others in their spiritual growth.

Heavenly Father, please forgive me for sometimes just going through the motions. Help me to be constantly readjusting my life back to Your Word. Thank You for Your truth and consistency. I love You, Lord. I do not want to be an "all over the place" type of Christian, just clinging onto rituals and Christian cliches. I want to be 100% real in my living for Jesus. Thank You, Lord, I pray all this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Itching Ears

2 Timothy 4:³ For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, ⁴and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. ⁵As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

Paul saw it coming. He knew there would be a time when people wouldn't want to listen to the truth, to sound teaching, but rather, they would seek out teachers that would speak only on things they wanted to hear. Rebuke would be a thing of the past. Truth would be replaced with myths, lies. But Paul tells Timothy, that although this would happen, Timothy must always be sober-minded, endure suffering, and fulfill his ministry.

The post-modern movement is upon us where everything is right and nothing is wrong because we all have our own views of truth. The ears of the present are itching to hear things such as Jesus was the brother of Satan, Jesus and Mary Magdalene had children, and it's ok to be Christian as well as other religions. But the point is, God knew all this would happen. He knew people would just want to satisfy their itching ears. Regardless of the times and the confusion around us, it is our commission as Christians to continue to be sober-minded, endure suffering, and fulfill our ministry of sharing the Good News of salvation. For myself, I need to really sift through my thoughts and find those things that are myths. I need to focus on the truth of God.

Heavenly Father, please rid me of itching ears. May I not be seeking any other voice but Yours. Forgive me for listening to the myths and lies of the evil one and of this world. Keep me sober-minded, help me to endure suffering, and may I fulfill the ministry You have placed me in. Give me wisdom to raise Lion well. Please fill me with Your joy. I love You. In Jesus Christ's name I pray, Amen.

Whole-heartedly

2 Chronicles 25:¹⁴After Amaziah came from striking down the Edomites, he brought the gods of the men of Seir and set them up as his gods and worshiped them, making offerings to them. ¹⁵Therefore the LORD was angry with Amaziah and sent to him a prophet, who said to him, "Why have you sought the gods of a people who did not deliver their own people from your hand?"

Amaziah sought the Lord only half-heartedly. When the man of God gave Amaziah counsel the first time, he listened. He dismissed a hired army so that the victory would belong to God's people alone. But after he struck down the Edomites, he took the idols from the people he deafeated and worshiped them himself. Then, when God sent another prophet, Amaziah refused to heed his counsel. Very stupid.

I've been wanting to just write out my thoughts. I kind of have been down lately and I don't know why. I don't really know where it came from. I had trouble falling asleep last night and then I woke up before the baby woke up. It's good though because that is how I'm able to do my devotion right now. However, I must admit, I'm thinking about all the sleep I'm missing instead of all the rest, peace, and knowlege I'm gaining from this devotion. Why do I do that? Why do I, like Amaziah, place things above God. Sleep doesn't give me rest. Only God gives me rest. Why do I attribute glory to things of this world. Why have I been so weak lately? I'm really feeling insecure. I don't think I'm a good mommy. I don't think I'm keeping the home in order. Nor do I feel like I'm accomplishing much. I guess I'm so used to seeing rewards and praise for my efforts immediately. Hanzo was right in saying that I'll probably need to see the man that Lion becomes before I actually feel like I'm a good mom. So, I have all this head knowlege about how I'm supposed to cast my cares on the Lord and find my strength in the joy of the Lord. Now, how do I apply it in this current situation? How do I, now that I'm in the thick of my emotions, drop what I feel for what I know is right? I certainly don't want to be stupid. I certainly don't want to stray from God's favor. I just need to "do it"! I just need to abandon my old ways of thinking and put on the mind of Christ. I need to stop buying into the lies about my insecurities and find my true identity in Christ. I am His. He loves me. He desires me to fulfill His purposes. He's chosen me to be Lion's mom. I'm the best mom for Lion. I'm beautiful in God's sight. I'm precious because of the blood of Christ. I will worship God alone. I refuse to allow my praise to go to worldly idols, even to sleep and food. He is my all in all. His timing is perfect.

Heavenly Father, I am a sinner. Forgive me for being so consumed with my emotions that I forgot to keep my eyes fixed on You. Lord, please help me to do what I know is right! Jesus, please cover me. May I only see You, Lord, when I look at myself. I repent from worshiping the idols of this world. I ask for Your Holy Spirit to empower me to desire and do Your will. I love You, Lord. I flee from this pity party. I run to You. Thank You for accepting me into Your loving embrace. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

For the sake of the elect

2 Timothy 2:¹⁰Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.

Paul's statement here clearly supports the doctrine of predestination. There are those whom God has elected to receive the news of salvation and there are those who will not receive the news of salvation. However, only God knows who is elected. Free will...is it a reality or something we like to think we have control over? None the less, Paul goes through much pain to ensure that everyone who he can share the news of salvation with gets to hear it. He does the leg work and lets God be the judge. In contrast, we read about Jonah, the prophet who did the opposite of what Paul is advising Timothy here. Jonah judged the people of Nineveh and refused to share with them the news of repentance. God had predetermined that they would turn their hearts back to them, but Jonah didn't think they deserved it. Because of Jonah's rash judgment, he was thrown overboard and ended up in the foul belly of a big fish.

I'd rather suffer for God's good than suffer for my own foolishness. Also, regardless of whether free will really exists or not, I have been commissioned as a follower of Christ to share the Good News of salvation with everyone. If I refuse to, out of my own insecurity or judgment, then I'm no better than Jonah. How can I be different today because of this scripture? I can remember that all that I endure is for the sake of sharing the gospel. Also, I am not the one to judge who should and shouldn't receive the gospel. Only God knows.

Heavenly Father, may I remember the words of Paul, inspired by Your Holy Spirit. Forgive me for judging others and for being disobedient in sharing the Good News. I love You, Lord. Continue to transform me into Your image. I pray all this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Remember God's lovingkindness

2 Chronicles 24:²⁰ Then the Spirit of God clothed Zechariah the son of Jehoiada the priest, and he stood above the people, and said to them, "Thus says God, 'Why do you break the commandments of the LORD, so that you cannot prosper? Because you have forsaken the LORD, he has forsaken you.'" ²¹But they conspired against him, and by command of the king they stoned him with stones in the court of the house of the LORD. ²²Thus Joash the king did not remember the kindness that Jehoiada, Zechariah’s father, had shown him, but killed his son. And when he was dying, he said, "May the LORD see and avenge!"

Jehoiada was the priest that restored Joash to the throne when Athaliah was wickedly ruling. He also counseled Joash wisely. But once he passed away, Joash forgot all Jehoiada's kindness and had his son, Zechariah, stoned. Zechariah was annointed by the Lord as his father was, but when he was rebuking Joash, the king did not heed the wisdom and instead conspired against him.

This passage reminds me of how Jesus was unrighteously put to death. Just as Joash forgot about Jehoiada, the people of God had forgotten God's loving kindness and had His son, Jesus, executed. However, there are key differences: 1) Jesus willingly came to be sacrificed by the wicked conspiricies of sinners; 2) God will not avenge Jesus' death because Jesus paid the penalties of death for those sinners in full. No prophet could ever satisfy the wages of sin and that is why God sent His only begotten Son, who is fully pure and sinless, to redeem us from our own wickedness. What I take away from this story in 2 Chronicles is that the Old Testament has concepts, themes, and prophecies that point to the coming of Christ. I can read the Old Testament and gain wisdom to understand the New Testament. People killing the son of someone who has only done good to you, was not a new idea. When we look at what happened to Jesus, we shouldn't think "That's impossible! Why would God's chosen people kill His own Son?" Well, it had already happened back then. That shows how cold hearted and stiff necked God's people already were. What I can also take away from this is that I should always remember the loving kindness of the Lord and extend that to others, even if they say things I don't want to hear. I must not forget the kindness of my Heavenly Father, who sent His only begotten Son to die for everyone's sins. I am not to judge which persons Jesus died for because it is written, that God so loved the world. I must extend kindness back, and not exchange wickedness for wickedness.

Heavenly Father, thank You for teaching me. Lord, forgive me for sometimes thinking the Old Testament is irrelevant or boring. Please keep me engaged in Your Word. Transform me completely, Lord. I surrender myself to You. Lord, show me how to repay all people with kindness. May I never forget the grace You have extended to me and allow me to share that with others. I love You. I depend on You for all my strength today. I pray all this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Influence of a Mother

2 Chronicles 22:³He also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab, for his mother was his counselor in doing wickedly.

Ahaziah's mother, Athalia, was a good example of a bad mother. She counseled her son to do wicked things. Her influence was strong and when her son the king of Judah was killed, she had the rest of the royal family killed so she could rule in his place.

A mother is very influential on her children and the influence can either be good or bad. I do not want to be like Athalia. To prevent my influence to be wicked, I must be submitted to the Lord. I must make sure that I am humble to God and following in Jesus' footsteps. God's plans for Lion may include overseeing people, and I don't want to influence him to do a poor job. I want to influence him to grow into a man of God, a spiritual champion. In order to do that, I must first make sure that I am walking in God's ways. I can't teach what I don't practice myself. My children will do what I do, not what I say. May I live a life that exemplifies Christ.

Heavenly Father, please continue to change me into Your image. Forgive me for any impatience, impure thoughts, and wickedness. I desire to be made holy. I ask for Your transforming touch upon my life. I love You, Lord. May I follow in Jesus' footsteps all day today. In Your name I pray, Amen.

All Is Well

2 Kings 4:²⁶Run at once to meet her and say to her, 'Is all well with you? Is all well with your husband? Is all well with the child?'" And she answered, "All is well."

2 Kings 5:²¹So Gehazi followed Naaman. And when Naaman saw someone running after him, he got down from the chariot to meet him and said, "Is all well?" ²²And he said, "All is well. My master has sent me to say, 'There have just now come to me from the hill country of Ephraim two young men of the sons of the prophets. Please give them a talent of silver and two changes of clothing.'"

In 2 Kings 4, the Shunammite woman told her husband and Elisha's servant that all was well when really, she was in bitter distress because her son had died. I looked it up in the ESV study bible and it said "All is not really well, but she does not want either her husband or Gehazi (2 Kings 4:26) getting in her way as she seeks Elisha's help." She does lie to them, but in the end, her actions proved to be righteous and blessed. Because she demanded the personal and immediate attention of the man of God, her son was saved. However, I am shown the opposite side of the coin in saying "All is well." Gehazi, Elisha's servant lies with this phrase as well, and in the end it brings him only trouble, sickness, and punishment. The ESV study bible says that Gehazi tried to cash in on an act of God. Gehazi wasn't seeking the Lord, he was seeking only self-gain.

These passages make me re-evaluate my motives. I think the Shunammite woman could say "All is well" even though she was very distressed because she knew that God would come through and she sought Him immediately and intentionally. On the other hand, Gehazi was motivated only by what he could gain from God's works and by saying "All is well" he misled others into thinking he was righteous. In my life, I must say that truly, all is well. I am blessed beyond measure with more than I've ever imagined. I have a husband who loves me they way Christ loves the church. I have a wonderful, supportive family. My son is healthy, smart and provided for in miraculous ways. The list could go on. But really, what I've learned from this time of devotion is that all is truly not well because at any second, everything can be lost. The only thing that cannot be taken from me is my personal relationship with Jesus. If I am not like the Shunammite woman, desperately pursuing a personal relationship with God, then I'll default to Gehazi's mindset which is selfish motives fuled by false entitlement to God's blessings. I want to be able to say in any situation that all is well because I know my Lord and Savior and because I trust in Him alone.

Heavenly Father, forgive me for trying to talk myself out of doing my devotion. I rationalize with things like, "I'm too tired, or there isn't enough time." I'm so sorry. You always have treasure in store for me when I take the time to sit with You. I'm a fool to think that I'll be better off skipping this precious time. Forgive me and create in me a desire to do what pleases You. Lord, I thank You that because of Jesus in my life, I can say that all is well. I pray that I seek You without ceasing and that I fight off the desires of my flesh to use Your grace for my selfish gain. Set me right with You, Oh God. I love You. Please continue to change me. I pray all these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

God's character

2 Kings 1:¹⁴Behold, fire came down from heaven and consumed the two former captains of fifty men with their fifties, but now let my life be precious in your sight."

2 Kings 2:²¹Then he went to the spring of water and threw salt in it and said, "Thus says the LORD, I have healed this water; from now on neither death nor miscarriage shall come from it." ²²So the water has been healed to this day, according to the word that Elisha spoke.

1 Timothy 1:⁵The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

It is often said that God is described in the Old Testament as wrathful, angry, and mean and that in the New Testament, He is described as merciful, happy, and loving. Well, today I see proof that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. In 2 Kings, God does show his mercy, love, and grace over and over. When the captain asked for mercy, God gave it. God desires humility and repentance. It has always been this way. Also, God desires healing. He even heals the land and water. Elisha sprinkled salt in the spring of water and said that the Lord had healed the water. God is good. We have the commission as Christians to reflect God's character, through a pure heart, good conscience, and sincere faith in Jesus Christ.

I need to remember God's character. So often, I forget. I place Him in the limitations of human nature, which makes Him out to be unforgiving and upset in my own mind. Today I am reminded of God's true personality and character. I am inspired to be more like Him. Am I merciful? Am I loving? Am I seeking healing? Usually the answer is no, and I need to make a change in this area. I am the daughter of a loving, gracious King...I should be just like my Heavenly Daddy. How can I be more like Jesus today?

Heavenly Father, I love You. I praise You and Your son, Jesus Christ. May I be more like You. I turn from my flesh's ways and pursue You. Please cleanse my heart. Give me a pure heart, a good conscience and a sincere faith in Jesus. When no one is looking, may that be the time I make You the most proud of me. Thank You for loving me. I pray for complete healing in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Jesus is all the proof we need

1 Kings 17:²⁴And the woman said to Elijah, "Now I know that you are a man of God, and that the word of the LORD in your mouth is truth."

1 Kings 18:³⁹And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces and said, "The LORD, he is God; the LORD, he is God."

Colossians 2: ¹For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, ²that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, ³ in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

In 1 Kings, it talks about the prophet, Elijah, and how he was with a suicidal widow and her son during the drought. Although she and her household were given everything they needed to survive by God, she still did not believe that Elijah was a man of God. Maybe she thought they were being kept alive by another god or by a spirit. In any case, God's provision did not persuade her to acknowledge the true, living God. It wasn't until the resurrection of her son that she fully knew the almighty God and believed that Elijah was His prophet. Likewise, the people needed a miraculous sign to believe in God rather than Baal. It wasn't until the Holy fire of the Lord fell upon the offering, which was even soaked in water, that the people believed that God is the one, true God. Paul says that we have all the riches of full assurance of knowing and understanding God because of Jesus Christ. Jesus was also resurrected and presented as an offering acceptable to the Lord.

Because of Jesus, we have all that we need to believe in God. God has fully revealed Himself to us and His heart is to have all turn back towards Him. He isn't going to send more signs and wonders because He's already given more than enough proof that He is who He says He is. Why then, are there still so many unbelievers?
1. Some people do not know about Jesus.
That is why Evangelism is so important. The gospel must be heard everywhere. There are people who kind of know about Christianity, but they don't know Jesus Christ. If they knew Jesus Christ, they would turn back to the one, true Heavenly Father.
2. Some people are not supposed to receive salvation.
This is a hard one to swallow, but it is so true. There are some people out there that will not receive God's grace. God knows that they will reject Jesus. He still pursues them, but they will never turn back.
As a Christian, I must focus on my relationship with Jesus and telling others about Jesus. In Jesus, people have everything they need to repent. Unlike the times of Elijah, we do not need another sign or wonder. God has made Himself and salvation completely plain and it is the commission of the church to tell those who don't know so that they may believe and return to God.

Heavenly Father, You are the one, true God. Thank You for revealing who You truly are to us through Your Son, Jesus Christ. Lord, I thank You also for Your grace in opening my eyes to the truth and opening my heart to accept Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. I love You, Jesus. I pray for the forgiveness of my doubting mind. Please keep me focused on You. Help me to tell others about You, Jesus. Show me how to be bold in my knowledge of You. I pray all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Endurance

2 Chronicles 15: ⁸As soon as Asa heard these words, the prophecy of Azariah the son of Oded, he took courage and put away the detestable idols from all the land of Judah and Benjamin and from the cities that he had taken in the hill country of Ephraim, and he repaired the altar of the LORD that was in front of the vestibule of the house of the LORD.

2 Chronicles 16:¹²In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was diseased in his feet, and his disease became severe. Yet even in his disease he did not seek the LORD, but sought help from physicians.

Colossians 1:¹¹ May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, ¹² giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. ¹³He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Asa heeded Azariah's prophecy and was encouraged. However, his obedience was powered by his own emotions. At first, he took action to follow God's ways, but then he turned to man for help. Asa somehow forgot to encourage himself. In the end, Asa did not even seek the Lord for healing. So how can a person keep themselves inspired to seek the Lord? It is such a difficult thing, practically impossible, on a person's own strength because man is but dust and driven by folly ingrained in his flesh. Jesus, however, made a way. Because of what Jesus has done, we have redemption. It is Jesus who set the example and broke the generations of sinful kings. He is the King of kings. Jesus has transferred us from darkness into the light. It is because of His strength and endurance on the cross that we can also be obedient until the end.

Am I like King Asa or am I following Jesus? I do not want to be an emotional Christian. I want to be steady and faithful until the end. When I feel like caving in, I need to look to Jesus for the strength to keep going. He is the only one who can keep me encouraged. I also need to consciously refresh myself in my faith. When I sense it becoming ritual instead of from the overflow of my heart, I really need to seek after the Lord. I don't want to be like King Asa and place my trust in men. I want to be like Jesus and place my trust in God.

Heavenly Father, please keep my eyes fixed upon Jesus. Lord, forgive me for being an emotional Christian; praising You only when I feel blessed and losing faith when times are tough. I want to be steady in my walk. I also pray that You help me to encourage myself so that my fire and zeal for You is always burning bright. Keep me inspired and show me how to inspire myself. I love You so much, God. You are amazing, awesome, and wonderful. I love being in a relationship with You. I need You more than air. I pray all these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Misunderstanding Scripture

Philippians 4:¹⁸I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God. ¹⁹And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

It's really dangerous to take a scripture out of context. I know that we should claim and profess the promises of God's word, but what happens when we claim something that isn't ours to claim? Here is a very good example of me doing just that. In Philippians 4:18, Paul talks about how he received the gifts that the Philippians sent. What they sent Paul is noted as an offering to God. Paul encourages them by saying that God will supply their every need according to the abundant (rich) glory in Jesus. So, God will supply to give Jesus the glory. This is a verse (Phil 4:19) that I was previously trying to memorize out of context. I stand corrected.

The name it and claim it, prosperity movement is a dangerous one. I refuse to get caught up in it, and yet, I do not want my faith to be cut short because of my prejudice. Paul is talking specifically about the Philippians' offering. Basically, they tithed to Paul, or actually more specifically, they sent him support. Paul knew that since they were willing to give to God for His will and work, that God would provide for all their needs for the sake of Jesus' glory. Prior to reading this scripture in context, I assumed that Philippians 4:19 meant that God will just provide for all my needs out of His abundant riches. In other words, I was entitled to my needs being met. This is not true. Well, to be more specific, it is only half true, and half-truths are still lies. From now on, I know that God only provides to glorify Himself through Jesus Christ. I do not deserve this, nor can I earn it. God does this for whomever He wills.

Heavenly Father, please forgive me for distorting scripture to fit my desires. Lord, I seek the truth. Please continue to reveal to me the whole truth and keep me from being complacent in studying Your word. Thank You for Your will. Thank You for Your abundant provision according to Your will and glory. May I never expect You to bless me. I know that You do take care of those who bring glory to You and Your Son, Jesus, but for me to claim that for myself is presumptuous. May it be far from me to think that I deserve Your grace, Your blessings, and Your love. I pray for humility for myself. Thank You for my husband, my baby boy, this home we are living in, my family, my friends, the church I go to, and the food and drink I am able to consume everyday. Thank You for the life You have given to me. May I use it to bring You all the glory. In the glorious name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Fear and Trembling

Philippians 2:¹²Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

It is easy to do the Jesus thing in front of other Christians, but what about when you are around strangers...or even by yourself. Paul knows that they are obedient to God's laws when he is there, but he's not so sure of how they act when he isn't there. It seems like when Paul's away, the party starts. Paul tells the Philippians to be good even more in his absence. The words "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling" really stand out to me. I must really reflect on this so I can understand it better and apply it to my life.

Do I really fear the Lord? Not to the point where I am trembling. Definitely not. But shouldn't I fear the Lord in this manner. That when I'm tempted to sin, I tremble at the thought of going through with it because I fear the Lord? If I could apply this to my life, then I think I would have a more pure heart. I've noticed that I default to doing one thing while my head is thinking another. That is not a mark of a sincere person. Like the Philippians, I find it easier to be more like Jesus when other Christians are watching. When I'm not known to be a Christian, I tend to like to stay anonymous. Rather, I should be even more of a Christian because I am called to shine His light in a dark world. May I really grasp the fear of the Lord today.

Heavenly Father, I ask that You instill the fear of You within me. I want to be made more pure. I ask also for Your forgiveness. Help me to be a true follower of Christ. Jesus, may You increase and may I decrease. I love You. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

The purpose of suffering in Christ

Philippians 1:²⁹For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, ³⁰engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have.

Paul writes encouragement in his letter to the Philippians. It seems that he is addressing their concern for him being in prison and being afflicted. Maybe the Philippians were questioning God's sovereignty with things like, "If God is so great, why is Paul suffering so much?" Paul makes it clear that the life of one who follows Christ may be filled with suffering, but it is for Jesus' sake. As Jesus' disciples, we do not only have the gift of believing in Jesus, but the gift of partaking in His suffering as well.

So, why be a Christian if we must suffer with Christ? What is there to gain? Well, the suffering in Christ is the only suffering that brings gain. Suffering happens in life, there is no avoiding it. However, without Jesus, suffering only leads to loss and pain. It leads to death. I am a fool to think that I should assume that Jesus is my bubble. It's true that Jesus sends the Holy Spirit to guide me in truth and that I can put on the armor of Christ, but that doesn't circumvent suffering. Not that I even can say that I suffer! The things that I consider suffering are so minor. Like bouncing Lion to sleep for 30 minutes...just because he's heavy and my back gets sore, I'm ok. I'm not in a lot of pain. I'm not even required to go through that pain, I choose to do it so I can get Lion to fall asleep faster. There are those who are really suffering for Christ. When I went to Argentina, I saw people who lived among the poor so that they can offer health care and the gospel to them. Those places had no running water, nor electricity, nor heaters (it was winter at the time), and no clean toilets. I could go on about the lack of convenience. I am truthfully spoiled. I really don't thank God everyday for all the blessings that He has showered upon me. And to think that I get all frustrated over lack of sleep and pain in bouncing my baby! My mind isn't set on the things of Christ. I need to really use this time to do a heart check and repent. I shouldn't shun suffering because it is inevitable. But with Christ in my life, I gain from that suffering.

Heavenly Father, please forgive me for complaining. Please forgive me for being so selfish and for praying for my "suffering" to go away. I rejoice in my suffering. I thank You that Your grace abounds within my life. I am so grateful for the life You have blessed me with. Please renew my mind. Form my heart. May all my selfishness be drained away. Replace my ways with the ways of Christ. Jesus, thank You for suffering for my sake. Thank You for attaching a purpose and a hope to suffering so that I may gain from that which formerly only led to death. I ask for my inner parts to be radically transformed. I see a lot of filth within me that only You can clean out. I love You, Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

In the shade of my husband

Song of Solomon 2:³As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 4:⁸ Come with me from Lebanon, my bride;
come with me from Lebanon.
Depart from the peak of Amana,
from the peak of Senir and Hermon,
from the dens of lions,
from the mountains of leopards.

The Song of Solomons is written with poetry, but it is definitely God's model of His ideal for marriage. In chapter 2, verse 3, the bride compares her husband to an apple tree. Here, the husband is clearly the provider of the home. He provides shelter, comfort, and food. Life is sweet and enjoyable for this wife with her husband. Her needs are met and she enjoys being under her husband's protection and care. I'm reminded of the other side of this example, the wrong example that Eve and Adam set in Genesis.
Genesis 3:⁶So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
In Genesis, Eve did not delight in the shade of Adam. Instead she went to taste a fruit that was forbidden. As a result, sin entered mankind and also, all marriages to come. But God's design is not flawed. We still have the image of God and so we still can work towards God's ideal for marriage. The other scripture from Song of Solomon 4 speaks of where the bride came from. At first I was totally unclear as to what it means to come from Lebanon. However, after doing some research on Google, and praying for revelation, I think this passage means that the husband is a tree that is calling her from a place where there are many trees. In a sense, he is calling her to be faithful. Where once before, she dwelled among many fine options, here she has to make a commitment to leave what she once knew to be faithful to this one man. She is called by him to come away from desolate, barren, and dangerous places to now be with him.

I thank God for my husband. He is a man after God's heart and he is humble in his everday walk with Christ. When I read these passages, I'm reminded by God that I am blessed and that I need to remain in this blessing. Once I dwelled among many men, but now, I am bound to one man and he has vowed to me and to God to protect me, provide for me, and lead me in God's will. I have to admit, sometimes in my dreams, the thought of past relationships come up. Like faces from the past sneek into my dreams and when I wake up, I'm re-playing the scenes in my mind, trying to decifer meaning from the dream. But what I realize is, God doesn't want me to dwell on those thoughts. I've come from "Lebanon" and the places where lions and leopards live, and there is no life for me there. There is only destruction, pain, and sin. I need to focus on where I am now, which is a beautiful and blessed place, under the shade and provision of my husband. I thank God for my husband. The fruit in our home is sweet to my taste.

Heavenly Father, thank You so much for choosing the best husband for me. I thank You that by Your grace You have led me to this man. I am completely joyful in my marriage. I love You, Lord and I love my husband. Keep me from turning my eyes to another's shade. I desire only Hanzo's shade and only his fruit. I'm so grateful for Your love for the church, Jesus. That You are the church's husband and You provide us with shade and good fruit. May we not be led astray to the shade of another. May we be faithful and grateful always. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

He Consols

This morning (2am) I feel very achy. My body feels very stiff. I hope I'm not coming down with something. I think I'll do my devo reading and then complete my journal entry after the next night feeding at around 3 or 4am so I have more time to rest.

Psalm 94:¹⁹When the cares of my heart are many,
your consolations cheer my soul.

God...I need to vent. I tried to go back to sleep to get more rest. Lion woke up at 3:15am and now he is wide awake. I've tried to put him back to sleep. He just won't. I'm at my rope's end. I don't know what to do. I have him on the playmat now so I can do my devo. I somehow feel like it's my fault. I'm so tired. I am feeling weak. My arms hurt. My body aches. I can't even think straight. I don't know how to interpret Your word this morning. I look at this verse I picked out at 2am and I feel like all it says is You are supposed to consol me. But, I honestly don't feel consolation. I don't feel cheery. I feel very upset. I feel tired. I feel like I can't do this anymore. How am I supposed to allow Jesus to love and nurture Lion through me when I'm soooo weak? I have all this head knowledge right now, but I don't know how to put it into practice. Lion is starting to get fussy. Uh! I'm so frustrated.
I need You! I've been crying out to you! I can't do this! Why do I feel like I'm the most horrible mom in the world?
Lord, it seems like I may never get the hang of being a mom. I don't have peace. I don't have rest.
I look at other moms around me and they seem to have it together. The cares of my heart are many. I know I'm supposed to cast my cares upon You, but how come I don't feel like it's working? I feel like I'm praying and crying out to You and I'm still stuck in the same situation. I'm not transforming. I'm not that cheerful, joyful, carefree Christian I feel like I'm expected to be.
I'm...well, I guess all I do is talk about myself, huh. I suppose I'll just focus on You...that's what I'm supposed to do.
You are greater than all my cares. You are willing to comfort me. You are willing to help me and You are able. You care about me. You love me. You love Lion. You want me to be the best that I can be.
Thank You, Lord. Lion is finally asleep and it is only because of You. I can do nothing. Only You are able to do anything good through me. I'm sorry for getting frustrated. I admit, I'm weak...I'm nothing...I'm the worst mother in the world, but because of You, I can be strong, I can be anything, and I can be the best mother for Lion. Please continue to work through me. Help me to stop seeing all my shortcomings and to focus on You instead. I give You all the glory. Lord, help me to love myself. I think this is the root of all my insecurities, doubt, and anger. I love You, Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

No Regrets

Ecclesiastes 7:¹⁰Say not, "Why were the former days better than these?"
For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.

Ecclesiastes 8:⁶For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him.

Solomon, in all his wisdom, says that it is not wise to look back and say that the past was better than the present. Wisdom is living in the "now" and not allowing regret to steer your life. Solomon also says that trouble lies heavy on a man's heart even though everything has its season. So basically, it is best to just take the season that I'm in for what it is and not compare it to a past season. What was cannot be applied to what is because that was what I needed to go through back then and now, something new is being done in my life.

Regret. It is something that I try not to do. I have found myself regretting a lot lately, though. That is the truth if I am really honest with God. I like to say that I don't regret my past because God has redeemed everything for His good purpose. However, I do find myself comparing the past with the present, and that is the same thing. It isn't wise for me to do this, I'll only suck the joy out of my life. For instance, when Lion is crying and I'm unable to calm him down, I'll think to myself, "It was better when he was still just in my womb. No crying then." Or when I'm super tired from not being able to get enough sleep because Lion keeps waking up, I would think, "It was better when I was just married to Hanzo and we could snuggle in bed together and sleep-in during the mornings." Oh, here is a very common one, when I look at my post-pregnancy body, I think, "I really had it good before I was pregnant. Why did I ever think I was fat or ugly? Now look at me." Well, these are all good examples of what Solomon is talking about, but I can't think like this any longer. That mindset is a major joy-drainer. I need to renew the spirit of my mind (Ephesians 4:23). Just throw away that habit of comparing. I really need to be active in this and dilligent in repenting.

Heavenly Father, I repent from dwelling on the past. I ask that You forgive me and renew my mind. Please change my thoughts into thoughts that are pleasing to You. Help me to quit regretting and live for the season that I am in. Lord, thank You for all that You have brought me through and that You have fully equipped me to deal with the season I am currently in. I ask again for Your strength to rejoice. Also, please help me to meditate on Your word all day and all night. Purify my mind, my heart, and my will. I ask for Your help with raising Lion. I thank You for my son and the blessing that he is. I thank You that he challenges me to grow and become the woman You created me to be. I thank You also for my husband and that he loves me as Christ loves the church. Please refresh my husband and show me how to be a blessing to him and not a burden. I pray all these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Strength to rejoice

Ecclesiastes 5: ²⁰For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart.

Psalm 18:¹I love you, O LORD, my strength.

Ephesians 3:¹⁴For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, ¹⁵from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, ¹⁶that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Solomon says that a man who enjoys his toil will not remember most of it because he will be occupied with joy. In David's Psalm, it says starts off by declaring the Lord as his strength. David rejoices in God and so God fills him with joy. It takes strength to rejoice in God. Paul says that he prays for the church of Ephesus for them to be filled with God's strength to comprehend God's love and the fullness of God.

I desire the fullness of God. I am lacking joy. God's word to me a few days ago was to put on strength and dignity, but I feel like I am failing at doing so. I've been so tired lately and just dreading feeding the baby during the night and feeling hopeless when he cries. Hanzo has done so much to encourage me and help me get rest, but there is a bigger underlying problem that needs to be addressed. I think my problem is that I am not rejoicing in the Lord. Where do I find this joy? Why do I feel so empty? Here are some steps I must take in the right direction:
-repent of my sin of pessimism
-pray to God for the strength to rejoice
-look for the good, joyful, and blessing part of every toil-some situation
I don't want a fake, plastered on joy, but until the real joy comes, I need to practice and train myself to see God's love.

Heavenly Father, I repent of my sin. Please forgive me for being so fixated on the toil, the burden, and the strife. Lord, I choose to train my eyes to see Your good in my life. Give me the strength to rejoice. Jesus, thank You for giving me a hope and a future. Without Your salvation, I have nothing to rejoice in. Please help me to see things through Your eyes. Fill me with the fullness of God. You have truly been merciful and gracious to me, blessing me in all areas of my life. I am so sorry for being selfish and spoiled, asking for more and not being grateful for what I already have. Thank You for the life You have given me. It is so good. I have nothing to complain about. Whatever sleep I get, is more than enough. Whatever food I eat, is more than enough. Whatever time I get to myself, is more than enough. I love You, Lord, my strength and my joy. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Predestination

Ecclesiastes 3:¹⁵That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.

Solomon is the author of Ecclesiastes and here he writes that God has already written out the whole story. The things of the past have already been and the things which are to come have already been. There is nothing new to God. There are no surprises. He knows all and chose all to happen. So that means God knows who will choose to follow Him and He even chose who would follow Him. If God already knows who will choose Jesus, why do we need to evangelize? Why bother sharing the news of Christ? We continue to evangelize because God seeks what has been driven away. Spiritual warfare is real. Although God knows who will choose Him, the elect are prime targets for spiritual attack. They are the very ones whom the enemy targets to discourage and drive away from God's plan. Of course, the enemy will not win, because God seeks what has been driven away.

God pursues me. What love is this? He pursues me? Even though I am driven away from Him again and again. Even though I turn from Him because I get frustrated or tired. Even though I lose faith in Him and His power. He still pursues me. He pursues all of us. Even those He has chosen to not choose Him. It's true. He loves us and desires us to be with Him. Predestination seems like such an un-loving thing. It's human nature to think that if God already determined who would be saved and who wouldn't be saved, then why should people even try to spread the good news. It's as if everyone knew the ending score for a football game, then they wouldn't even want to watch the play. It doesn't matter to people after they know the end of the story. But God doesn't think the way man thinks. Even though God knows my whole story, He still seeks after me. He doesn't ignore me and place my life on auto-pilot. God is actively seeking me and protecting me and guiding me and loving me. That is the best love of all: To love even though one knows that it will not be returned. God is love. Predestination is love.

Heavenly Father, I know that many do not agree with predestination. Honestly, I am still trying to wrap my human brain around it too. In my fallen state, it may be impossible for me to see things from Your point of view. But God, I ask for Your forgiveness and grace. I ask for Your Holy Spirit to give me divine revelation in understanding Your love for me. I thank You for choosing me to be Your daughter. I pray that You give me the desire and dilligence to seek You all the days of my life. Scrub my heart, Oh God. Forgive me for grumbling and for being selfish. I've been so hungry for rest. I've been so impatient lately. I'm realizing just how self seeking I am and how much I need to be sanctified. Jesus, live through me. I want more of You and less of me. May I die so that You may live. I love You. Thank You for loving me. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray...Amen.

Wearing Strength and Dignity

Proverbs 31:¹⁷She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.

Without Jesus, no one can be a Proverbs 31 woman. However, because Jesus redeemed those gathered to God, a woman who has accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior is a Proverbs 31 woman. What does a Proverbs 31 woman wear? Strength and dignity. Most people think that a Christian woman is expected to be weak and submissive, unable to lift her voice. Solomon disproves this ill description of Christian woman by saying quite the contrary. A woman of God is strong and dignified and she isn't afraid of what the future holds.

I struggle with claiming my redemptive revelation as a Proverbs 31 woman. I know in my head that because of Jesus I am able to walk in this new image, but due to my low self-esteem, I am often calling myself weak. I notice that I often beat myself up with words like: ugly, stupid, weak, failure, fat, and idiot and sadly, I enjoy calling myself those things deep down inside. I desire to clothe myself in strength and dignity, but how am I able to do that when every time I look at myself, I see a disappointment? I need to look for Jesus within myself. He is there. I accepted Him into my heart and now He dwells within me. I need to see past my exterior and look for Jesus. Also, I need to clothe myself with Jesus on the outside as well. I need to be filled on the inside and coated on the outside for full protection. I need to take better care of my appearance so I can reflect the change inside of me on the outside. Finally, I need to stop comparing myself to other women. God has given me the garments of strength and dignity, and now it is up to me to put it on daily.

Heavenly Father, thank You for the work You are doing in me. Lord, You have been challenging me lately to really dig deep and bring my honesty to You. God, You are so faithful to take these things from me. I know that there are forces that would want me to stop pressing into You. Things of this world that are trying to intimidate me and make me complacent, but God, I love You and choose to be diligent in pursuing You. Thank You for revealing my tendency to put on my old self full of weakness and shame. Lord, I repent and ask that You help me daily to put on Jesus' strength and dignity. Please help me to see myself through Your eyes. I love You, Lord. Thank You for loving and choosing me. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Stick to the True Gospel

Romans 16:¹⁷I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. ¹⁸For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. ¹⁹For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.

Paul is ending his letter to the Romans, and the main point he wants them to take away from the whole letter is to watch out for false doctrine. When a religion or church causes divisions and creates obstacles, then it is most likely contrary to the true gospel. Paul says to avoid those people because they serve their own desires and they fool the naive. Sometimes Christians are like little children, they want to win over many to Christ and sometimes get led astray in the process. An example is when a Christian woman meets a man who isn't a Christian and decides that God wants her to lead him to Christ. Bad idea. That is not from God. God says to avoid those who teach a doctrine contrary to the truth. A growing Christian can easily be led astray if he or she doesn't keep his or her guard up. Discernment is key. Also, Paul tells the Christians in Rome that he wants them to be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil. I think many times, Christians are tempted to investigate the other religions out there in an attempt to gain knowledge of what they are facing. However, without a solid foundation in Christ, a Christian can be led astray. It is better to be innocent to what is evil, meaning not experienced or have knowledge of what is evil.

It is a huge mistake to think that if I learn more about false truths, then I will understand the real truth better. This way of thinking can really distract me from learning God's heart. It opens up a door for confusion and pointless questioning. I think questions are very good and God desires us to seek Him. But when we allow false teaching to prompt those questions, we will become tainted in our seeking and the answers will never satisfy. This reminds me of the sin of Adam and Eve. They were innocent to evil. When they ate the fruit, they were not innocent anymore and it opened up the door for sin and pain to enter mankind. When I look back, I was so easily led astray by false doctrine. I would get caught up in thinking that I should give other beliefs a fair chance at proving to be true. I allowed my feelings for my non-Christian boyfriends in the past to rule over the truth I was taught in the Bible and in church. For example, I wanted to see what drugs were like, so I could better understand people who use drugs to win them over for Christ. I thought, "If I can relate to them in this area, it'll win them over to Jesus!" That is not truth and it really messed up my own faith and walk during that season. It was a compromise in disguise. Of course, the Lord was able to redeem that period in my life and now I am much more wiser. But it would have been better to stick with what I knew is good and remain innocent of what is evil.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your grace. Please forgive me for that time I led others astray in my own confusion. Redeem that, Lord, and seek after Your children. Lord, may I keep to what is good and true and not wander off into what is evil. Jesus, You are the Truth. Thank You for coming to testify to the Truth. I pray and intercede for those who are being led astray by false doctrine. I ask that You open their eyes and lead them back to Your loving embrace. I pray over Lion, that he would be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil. I love You, Lord. I pray all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Who Am I Really Blessing?

Proverbs 27:¹⁴Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice,
rising early in the morning,
will be counted as cursing.

Romans 15: ¹ We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. ² Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. ³For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me."

I think in Proverbs 27:14, Solomon is saying that if you boast about your righteousness to your neighbors then it is the same as sinning. Blessings are done in humility and when they are not done in that way, they are no different than cursing. We have the example of Jesus in that Paul says Jesus did not bless others to build himself up, but rather to heap curses upon himself so that others may be blessed.

Am I boastful in my blessings? I like to say "God bless you" to people in my letters, emails, etc. Do I really mean it? Am I saying it just so I can look righteous? I have to admit, when I see those signs of the homeless on the side of the road, and it says "I'm hungry. Need job and food. God bless you" I don't really think they mean it. I don't really think they believe in God. I also don't really think they mean to bless me through God, they just want to seem like "good" people. I think all these things about others, but what about myself? I'm twice the hypocrite because I do know God and I do know Jesus. I should be humble when blessing others, but instead I like to make it known how much I pray for them (when sometimes I really haven't been) and so forth. I need to repent. Instead of blessing others, I'm cursing them with my sin! That is horrible! No more "Christianeese talk." I want to be legit. I will bless when God tells me to and not just when I feel like looking like a good Christian.

Heavenly Father, You have been coming down hard on me lately, but I greatly need it and appreciate it. I know You are refining my heart. There is so much junk in there that needs to be cleaned out. Finally, I'm ready to be honest with You and myself. Please forgive me for being boastful in my faith in You. Lord Jesus, help me to be more like You in serving my neighbors. Help me to be the curse for the sake of blessing others. Give me that heart to love as You love. You are Holy, God. May Your will be done on earth. Thank You for all that You provide, it is more than what I need. Keep me from giving into temptation. May all glory go to You, my God. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray, Amen.

The Rod

This morning I feel so grateful. God is so good. I just want to praise Him all day long! The Lord has also laid upon my heart Kanoe. I should call or send her an email to see how she is doing.

Proverbs 22:¹⁵Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Proverbs 23:¹³Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
¹⁴If you strike him with the rod,
you will save his soul from Sheol.

Since the first sin in the Garden of Eden, all mankind have been born into sin. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child because of our flesh's tendencies and generation upon generation of sin. The only way to avoid our tendency to choose folly is to learn and apply discipline. When children learn discipline, it drives their natural tendency to choose foolish things far from them. The Bible endorses the rod, which means spanking to me. In fact, Solomon says that the rod of discipline will save a child's soul.

We'd like to think children tend to be good and there are only a few "bad" ones that really need spankings. I can't imagine how I'm going to spank Lion when he makes foolish choices, but somehow, I do need to do it if it'll save his soul. Learning discipline is healthy. If I had learned discipline at a younger age, I might not have made all the mistakes I did later on. I know God doesn't want us to beat our children, but He does want us to discipline them. I need to remember that Lion's tendency is to do folly and that I am doing him a favor by not allowing him to continue in that way. This scripture also applies to me in that I need to know that God will discipline me to save me from folly. I am not the "good" person that people so often like to label themselves as. I am a descendant of Adam and Eve, I am born into sin. It is only by the blood of Jesus that I am made righteous before God. I must welcome God's discipline because it is making me more Christ-like. Also, it'll teach me how to be the parent God intended me to be.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your discipline. Pain cannot be avoided in this fallen world, but I thank You that You save us from death. I thank You for Your rod. I choose to rejoice in the moments of discipline because it means that folly is being driven from me. Lord, please help me to be the parent You desire me to be. I know that Lion is too young right now to understand discipline, but when the time comes for me to discipline, please give me the wisdom and strength to follow through with it. Forgive me for my sin and lead me in Your everlasting way. I love You. In Jesus Christ's name I pray, Amen.

A Wife from the Lord

Lion didn't get to go to bed with his normal bedtime routine and so he's been getting up every 1 or 2 hours. He's also not falling back asleep easily. During my devo reading I've had to go over and re-settle him about 4 or 5 times. I just swaddled him, so hopefully he'll sleep for a few hours and won't get too warm. Summer is upon us and we don't have AC, so he's been just in his diapers the last week to keep him cool. I suppose I can't expect...oops, he's up again. What I was trying to say is, I can't expect him to establish a schedule until about 6 months.

Proverbs 19:¹⁴ House and wealth are inherited from fathers,
but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Proverbs 21:⁹It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

A prudent wife is from the Lord. What does prudent mean? Prudent means acting with care and thought for the future. I know that my husband has been talking to me about prudence lately. Now, God is speaking to me about it and I need to do a heart check. Solomon also says that a quarrelsome wife makes her husband prefer to live alone and in discomfort. I feel like I've been quarrelsome lately, and this needs to change if I love God and love this family.

I have to admit, I'm prone to quarreling. The root is my low self-esteem. I'm constantly looking for opportunities to cut myself down with other people's words. I noticed that I haven't been acting prudently lately and I need to repent. For many reasons, I've been more concerned with the immediate than the future. I only see about six feet in front of me and make my decisions based on that. How can I obtain a long term view? I need to ask Jesus to be my eyes and guide me toward prudent decisions. This will also help me to not be quarrelsome. My worth in Jesus is precious and I need to see my eternal value rather than my fallen state. Of course I'll never measure up, but that is exactly why I need Jesus. I must apply a pattern of thought to all my decision making until it becomes natural for me to be prudent.
1. What are my choices? What are the options?
2. What are the results down the road? Fast forward the tape.
3. Which option will honor the Lord?
4. If possible check with someone to see if that is the Godly thing to do.

Heavenly Father, please forgive me for being rash and hasty in my decision making. Also, please forgive me for being quarrelsome. Lord, redeem me from my flesh's tendencies. Purify me and keep me clean. Jesus, please help me to see the bigger picture. Help me to fast forward the tape and show me which decisions to make. Make me into a prudent wife! Give me the desire to be obedient in this area. I love You, Lord. I surrender myself to You. Please break me down and make me new. Lord, I want to lift up Lesley to You. Please comfort her and her family. Thank You also for my friends in Christ. Bless them and keep them close to You. I ask for You to refresh my husband. I also ask for You to help Lion fall asleep when he is tired. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Heavenly Father. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.